Deja Vu sets in around 19 times a day in our house. Except it isn’t deja vu, its real life. And in this daily episode Dex grabs a fistful of dog food, dunks it in Dillinger’s water, swirls, and then shot-puts puppy chow all over the kitchen when you catch him in the act. I’m not sure what he does with it when we don’t catch him, but sometimes his breath is stank, so…
With my supersonic hearing that was gifted to me the moment our son was born, in exchange for perky boobs, I hear the tell-tale *tink tink* of the dog food being shifted and hurdle linebacker style towards the disturbance. Over time I’ve perfected my * you’re in so much trouble if you are doing what I think you are doing* response. You know, the tone your mom used as she held a syllable in your name over an 8 count? Something like, Tressieeeeeeee! Well, I heard that a lot growing up and can’t imagine a better trait to pass along to Bear. Lucky guy.
To date, I’m not certain of a vile/disgusting/putrid/sick/ominous thing that my child hasn’t rubbed his hands/paci in. Some gems include:
- dipping his paci into the toilet. then putting dipped paci into his mouth.
- clawing at the dirt between the cobblestones in Paris. then putting the dirt in his mouth.
- putting his hands in any liquid source anywhere. then putting them in his mouth.
- picking up popcorn that i’ve swept out from underneath the couch from ???. then eating it, with his mouth.
- and my all time favorite. Dex on all fours, lapping water from Dillinger’s bowl. Monkey see, monkey do.
The other day I was running errands and Chad had to go so he put Dex in his room with toys, books and the iPad playing Phineas and Ferb. While Chad was going doody, Dex grabbed the Cetaphil off his changing table and liberally applied it to every surface of his room. Including Dillinger.
Just a day in the life of the most precious angel, funny, gift from above, handsome, perfect boy.